Experienced lightworkers and spiritual empaths: I’m sure you’ve reached a point where you rely mostly on yourself for healing. Personally, I’ve been practising healing on my own & myself for years so I trust I can always find a solution. But: what happens when I can’t? In this article, I’m telling you exactly about this case. I share how I’m going about a recent issue that throws me into a freeze response almost every single time. And why only a return to the body helped.
Table of Contents of Return To The Body When All Else Fails. Sharing My Frustration And The Only Strategy That Has helped.
I could only return to the body…
Since I was Stuck in a cycle of freeze response with just one person and no conclusive answers from my spiritual practice.
There are some things, people, and situations that throw us into a fight or flight response, or even a freeze response.
There’s one person in my life, connected to a specific situation, who triggers a freeze reaction in me. This one has always been the most frequent by far — probably also the toughest on my nervous system and body, compared with fight or flight.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I suggest the following article, which explains what do fight, flight, freeze stand for?
Anyway, this one person almost always triggers me. Regardless of the hours of inner work I’ve put in throughout my life. Regardless of a strong spiritual foundation built over decades with excellent results, this person + event trigger me, big time. So, I have had no other choice but become aware of the fact that I simply don’t have all the answers. That we – as humans when we struggle through some challenging times – don’t always have the right answers.
In spite of extensive inner work and intelligent systems I have put in place; in spite of a strong connection with my guides, sessions to past lifetimes that might shed light on the issue… Well, you name it. In spite of everything, I haven’t been able to come up with a clear, neat, transforming solution. I have put some pieces together, but a final piece still seems to be missing.
Unfortunately, I have been dealing with this issue for a few months. Even though it doesn’t have to do with someone close (like a friend, partner or family member), this person’s choices have impacted me enormously. If everything goes the way it should, I might be able to walk away from it in a couple of months, hopefully tying up all lose ends.
Anyway, you understand that it has been dragging on, forcing me to interact with this individual for quite a bit now, and it’s not over yet.
The last time I had to engage with her caused a freeze response as usual. Sure, much weaker than at the start thanks to all the above mentioned foundation and specific inner work. Still, those bodily sensations were there anyway. Which is why I ‘gave up’. I told myself I may never find THE why behind all of this. A conclusive answer that could bring closure, more clarity as we hit the end of it. Most importantly, peace of mind once and for all.
Left with nothing else to do but breathe and reframe with compassion.
Since a conclusive explanation isn’t in the cards for me right now, I’ll have to go back to one of Gabrielle Bernstein’s core teachings: constant — overwhelmingly constant — return to the body to reframe. Relentless reframing of the triggering thought / feeling that come up as a response.
I must remind myself to return to the body, breathe into the area that feels constriction, almost always my stomach. That’s where tension builds up and a freeze response stems from. Also, I must breathe into that area consciously until the breath itself slows down, along with my nervous system.
In other words, I return to the body and show myself as much compassion as I can. Because, the way I see it, that spot in my body is doing its best to protect me. Even though it comes up as fear or shame, they are both meant as a form of protection and love. A form of shielding from any impermissible feelings lying behind this, to use Bernstein’s terminology.
However… If they are one side of love, then I can draw on another side of it. One that is calm, soothing, union, 5D. That is joy and flow. That is the place I go back to, over and over again, whenever fear shows up.
I choose to view this is as a big lesson in humility, a reminder to return to the body — and stay super grounded.
At this point, I remind myself to return to the body, ground in it. Then ‘ask’ my mind (and any racing thoughts) to slow down. The goal? To return to the body and let it catch up. Give it all the time and space in the world to to feel and process every sensation.
In fact, it’s just impossible to simultaneously pay attention to an aching body while the mind is birthing an infinite chain of fear-induced thoughts. Too much to handle, indeed.
In short, if there’s one thing I have learned about my freeze responses during my decades long holistic healing process, it’s to return to the body first of all. Only by letting my body be, am I able to eventually detach from the feelings, sort of observe them. Which, as a bonus, creates some well-needed distance from the perceived root of suffering. I become an observer of my feelings and thoughts.
I forgive myself for not having the right answers.
As I focus on body & breath, I choose — over and over again, each and every second — the body first. I return to the body, stay with, breathe into it. I tell myself that it’s Okay. I forgive myself for not being able to come up with a better solution. It’s okay if I keep getting such intense reactions instead of a calmer, more regulated approach.
And that is it. There’s nothing more I can do with or about it. I can simply acknowledge my limitations, then shift the awareness to the physical body.
Next up? Reframe and reluctantly consider this an opportunity. An opportunity to value my body, become mindful of its reactions and functioning. A precious reminder, at the end of the day, to remain humble and vigilant.
The risk of being so spiritually attuned is we forget we’re only human (after all…)
You know, when we are so spiritually attuned, highly intelligent in this area, we believe we can come up with solutions and fix literally everything? Clearly, we can’t.
Let me stress it once again. It’s a hard pill to swallow for someone like me, given that I’ve found clarity, closure, breakthroughs, deep healing and fulfillment through spiritual practices.
Yet, I’m only human.
This is when the Gobinday mantra from Kundalini Yoga came to my mind. The qualities of the divine are comparable to how we perceive some phenomena in 3D. They cannot be known completely or fully comprehended, therefore we should be wiser and release them. Turn them over to a higher power.
To sum up…
It’s very hard. Especially if you consider that you’re not gifted with a breakthrough, an aha moment perhaps. Nada.
What you receive is a different type of healing that appeals to your ability to surrender to Spirit, put your Ego aside, and have Faith.
It may not be the happy ending we’re used to, as experienced spiritual practitioners. Nevertheless, a return to the body remains a solid coping strategy which delivers. It brings comfort. And I intend to consider it a solution.